I've been feeling very melancholy lately. With the Browns playing the way they've been playing, well, who could blame me? And when I get into this kind of a "funk," I tend to listen to a ton of music.
I've been rolling some parody lyrics around in my head for a while and after today's game, I guess it's time to put them down on paper. I'm hoping this is just the first of many, since I have always had a fondness for song parody's.
Anyone who wants to actually take the time and put these little ditties to music, just credit me as lyricist and we're cool.
First up: Country Music Parody of Kenny Chesney's "Anything But Mine" from the perstpective of Jimmy Haslam III. Enjoy!
Walking along beneath the lights of that Terminal Tower,
Die-hard Browns fans making their way up to the lake,
You can hear the cries at the tailgate sites,
“Here we go Brownies,” fills the night,
Brown and Orange gear is everywhere in sight.
There's a cold front coming in, off of Lake Erie
Bringing wind and rain and snow to chill the fans
Kids are carrying handmade signs in their hands
Cause they hope to be on camera from their seats.
And in the morning I'm leaving, making my way up to Cleveland
Selling off my shares of Pittsburgh on the way
Cause I don't see how the Browns could ever be, anything but mine.
I’ve always dreamed of owning an NFL franchise
And I got just enough cash to buy the Browns.
Running all these Pilot, and Flying J truckstops
Helped me get to where I’ve always planned to be.
In the midst of the season, I got their approval
Now I laugh cause I know just what to do
Browns Fans there’s some changes coming to this team real soon
And Berea’s gonna have some open rooms!
But in the morning I'm leaving, making my way up to Cleveland
Cause the Browns need help to win the AFC
And I don't see how they could ever win, with anyone but me!
And in the morning I’m leaving, making my way up to Cleveland
Holmgren’s gone, and soon, Shurmur will be too
Cause I don’t see how they could ever win, with those Yahoos
You know I don’t see, how they’ll win the AFC, with anyone by me
Yes in the morning I’m leaving, taking over things in Cleveland
Bringing Banner in to help me reach my goal:
No, I won’t rest, until the Browns are best, Win the Super Bowl!