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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Mondays in Cleveland

As I sit here watching a Thursday night pre-season Browns game, I find myself thinking that this is my last Sunday to get a guaranteed good night's sleep.... at least until January.  And Monday will just be a typical, boring, normal Monday with the "Work Week Blahs" to look forward to. 

But as the NFL Regular Season gets ready to start, I thought I should remind you of the "Emotional Guidelines for Browns Fans" for the next 17 Mondays. This is especially helpful for non-Browns fans that either live or work with someone who bleeds Brown and Orange. Forewarned is Forearmed.

You're welcome.

Browns Lose - Steelers Win - Ravens Win
Don't Even Look at Me Monday - Nothing worse than losing and having to listen to the Yinzers and BMorons talk about how awesome their teams are. And their coaches. And their whatever. You are likely to rip someones head off today, or commit a felony. Best to just avoid people, or call in sick.
Smack Talk Meter 0

Browns Lose - Steelers Lose - Ravens Lose
Bummer Monday - Well, we may have lost, but so did the Evil Duo. We take solace in their suckiness. It doesn't make things better for us, but at least the Yinzers and Baltimorons will leave us alone today. Although we will take pot shots at them (when they are not listening).
Smack Talk Meter  2

Browns on a Bye - Steelers Win - Ravens Win
Whatever Monday - Yeah, whatever.  While the toothless and hairy fans of the Evil Duo are celebrating around the water cooler (and yes, I mean the females), you just say "whatever." While there is no shame in a Bye week, you have nothing to say but "just wait until you play US!"
Smack Talk Meter  4

Browns on a Bye - Steelers Lose - Ravens Lose
Superiority Monday - Oh, your team lost? Man, you suck. You really really suck.  Giggle - Giggle. It's a good think we had the week off or you would have dropped in the division standings!
Smack Talk Meter  6

Browns Win - Steelers Win - Ravens Win
Gonna be a Good Monday - Even though we have to get back to the grindstone, sharing high-five's and talking about the great plays makes Monday easy to handle. The fact the the Evil Duo also won is troubling, but it doesn't stop us from enjoying our fleeting moment of glory.
Smack Talk Meter  8

Browns Win - Steelers Lose - Ravens Lose
BEST. MONDAY. EVER.  Let the Smack Talk Reign!
Smack Talk Meter  10+ (We must take our opportunities when we can!)

Respectfully Submitted,

Cleveland Kate