So, God Made Cleveland Sports Fans

Sometimes, ideas rattle around in my head - or should I say bang around - until I put fingers to keyboard and write them down. I was really moved by the Super Bowl 47 commercial featuring the legendary Paul Harvey reading a poem about Farmers.

This is my homage to that poem. I mean no disrespect to it's author or to farmers. But being a Cleveland Sports Fan brings it's own challenges and I'm convinced God didn't choose the faint-of-heart for this vocation.

Respectfully Submitted,
Cleveland Kate

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And on the 9th day God looked down on his planned paradise and said, "I need some fanatics.”
So, God made a Cleveland Sports Fan!

He needed somebody to get up before dawn and drive to the Muni Lot and set up a BBQ grill, put out coolers of beer, eat brats and then go to the stadium and stay past midnight at a game where their team will lose in the final seconds.  So, God made a Cleveland Sports Fan!

He wanted somebody with strong arms. Strong enough to flip off a Steelers fan, yet gentle enough to hold his children as they cry when they hear that the Browns are moving to Baltimore. Someone to bear witness to Red Right 88, The Drive, The Fumble, and still renew their season tickets. Someone who will never know the Kokinis Story. Someone who can celebrate Draft day while the team picks Tim Couch, Courtney Brown, William Green, Gerard Warren, Chaun Thompson and yet another Quarterback, and still raise these strong arms to cheer on opening day…. Someone who can sit through a blizzard, lose repeatedly to their division rivals, say “We’ll get them next time” ...and mean it.  So, God made a Cleveland Sports Fan!

He needed somebody that could handle pain. The pain that comes from being the joke of major league baseball and then rising to greatness, only to lose game 7 of the World Series after Mesa chokes in the 9th. The pain of sitting in the parking lot outside the stadium, smoking a cigar and knowing that you’ll be back again next year…. Only you won’t.  So, God made a Cleveland Sports Fan!

He wanted somebody who would be a Witness. Who would welcome a native son, lift him up on a pedestal, make excuses when he chokes in the 4th quarter against Boston, and still love him. Who would wear Cleveland Cavaliers gear with pride, and boast that #23 is The King. Who would spend an hour watching TV to see their favorite player, a true star, one of the greatest to ever play the game, tell the whole world that he is leaving. Who would take that slap in the face and fight back, suffer through countless years of really bad basketball in the hopes that they would be good again.  So, God made a Cleveland Sports Fan!

It had to be somebody who'd be unbreakable; who would take the best and the worst that sports can throw at a person; who’s very job could depend on whether or not the sports team in town were winning or losing.  He needed a rag-tag group of misfits who would take whatever flavor crap sandwich they were handed and say “Thank you sir, may I have another.” Someone who would cheer and cry, talk smack and bleed orange & brown, wine & gold, red white & blue… and then respond with smiling eyes, when his son says he wants to spend his life "rooting for dad's teams". Because to let their children root for any other team is unthinkable.  So, God made a Cleveland Sports Fan!

And as a reward for all of this hard work, determination, and pain, God would also make them Ohio State Buckeye Fans!

Browns: Song Parody - "Anything but Mine"

I've been feeling very melancholy lately. With the Browns playing the way they've been playing, well, who could blame me? And when I get into this kind of a "funk," I tend to listen to a ton of music.

I've been rolling some parody lyrics around in my head for a while and after today's game, I guess it's time to put them down on paper. I'm hoping this is just the first of many, since I have always had a fondness for song parody's.

Anyone who wants to actually take the time and put these little ditties to music, just credit me as lyricist and we're cool.

First up: Country Music Parody of Kenny Chesney's "Anything But Mine" from the perstpective of Jimmy Haslam III. Enjoy!

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Walking along beneath the lights of that Terminal Tower,
Die-hard Browns fans making their way up to the lake,
You can hear the cries at the tailgate sites,
“Here we go Brownies,” fills the night,
Brown and Orange gear is everywhere in sight.

There's a cold front coming in, off of Lake Erie
Bringing wind and rain and snow to chill the fans
Kids are carrying handmade signs in their hands
Cause they hope to be on camera from their seats.

And in the morning I'm leaving, making my way up to Cleveland
Selling off my shares of Pittsburgh on the way
Cause I don't see how the Browns could ever be, anything but mine.

I’ve always dreamed of owning an NFL franchise
And I got just enough cash to buy the Browns.
Running all these Pilot, and Flying J truckstops
Helped me get to where I’ve always planned to be.

In the midst of the season, I got their approval
Now I laugh cause I know just what to do
Browns Fans there’s some changes coming to this team real soon
And Berea’s gonna have some open rooms!

But in the morning I'm leaving, making my way up to Cleveland
Cause the Browns need help to win the AFC
And I don't see how they could ever win, with anyone but me!

Ooooooooo...

And in the morning I’m leaving, making my way up to Cleveland
Holmgren’s gone, and soon, Shurmur will be too
Cause I don’t see how they could ever win, with those Yahoos

You know I don’t see, how they’ll win the AFC, with anyone by me

Ooooooooooo... ooooooooooooooo...

Yes in the morning I’m leaving, taking over things in Cleveland
Bringing Banner in to help me reach my goal:
No, I won’t rest, until the Browns are best, Win the Super Bowl!

Mondays in Cleveland

As I sit here watching a Thursday night pre-season Browns game, I find myself thinking that this is my last Sunday to get a guaranteed good night's sleep.... at least until January.  And Monday will just be a typical, boring, normal Monday with the "Work Week Blahs" to look forward to. 

But as the NFL Regular Season gets ready to start, I thought I should remind you of the "Emotional Guidelines for Browns Fans" for the next 17 Mondays. This is especially helpful for non-Browns fans that either live or work with someone who bleeds Brown and Orange. Forewarned is Forearmed.

You're welcome.
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Browns Lose - Steelers Win - Ravens Win
Don't Even Look at Me Monday - Nothing worse than losing and having to listen to the Yinzers and BMorons talk about how awesome their teams are. And their coaches. And their whatever. You are likely to rip someones head off today, or commit a felony. Best to just avoid people, or call in sick.
Smack Talk Meter 0


Browns Lose - Steelers Lose - Ravens Lose

Bummer Monday - Well, we may have lost, but so did the Evil Duo. We take solace in their suckiness. It doesn't make things better for us, but at least the Yinzers and Baltimorons will leave us alone today. Although we will take pot shots at them (when they are not listening).
Smack Talk Meter  2


Browns on a Bye - Steelers Win - Ravens Win

Whatever Monday - Yeah, whatever.  While the toothless and hairy fans of the Evil Duo are celebrating around the water cooler (and yes, I mean the females), you just say "whatever." While there is no shame in a Bye week, you have nothing to say but "just wait until you play US!"
Smack Talk Meter  4


Browns on a Bye - Steelers Lose - Ravens Lose

Superiority Monday - Oh, your team lost? Man, you suck. You really really suck.  Giggle - Giggle. It's a good think we had the week off or you would have dropped in the division standings!
Smack Talk Meter  6



Browns Win - Steelers Win - Ravens Win
Gonna be a Good Monday - Even though we have to get back to the grindstone, sharing high-five's and talking about the great plays makes Monday easy to handle. The fact the the Evil Duo also won is troubling, but it doesn't stop us from enjoying our fleeting moment of glory.
Smack Talk Meter  8

Browns Win - Steelers Lose - Ravens Lose
BEST. MONDAY. EVER.  Let the Smack Talk Reign!
Smack Talk Meter  10+ (We must take our opportunities when we can!)


Respectfully Submitted,

Cleveland Kate

The Parallels are Staggering...

As draft day approaches, two things are clear:  The #1 and #2 players are obvious to everyone.  With the #4 pick, Cleveland fans are trying to decide what the team will do.  Will they make a move to trade up to #2?  Will they (gasp) trade down?  Will they just take the best player on the board at 4 and continue rebuilding a team that is in serious need of help?   Am I talking about the NFL or the NBA?

Yes, I'm talking about the upcoming NBA Draft, but really, it's eerily similar to what we as Cleveland fans went through leading up to the NBA draft.  The Browns tried to make a move up to the #2 spot to get RG3 but that failed.  In a last minute surprise to all fans, they traded up to #3 and got what may be the start of the future for the Browns in Trent Richardson.  Can we expect the same from the Cavaliers?

Anthony Davis will go #1.  Period.  Done Deal.  Start selling his New Orleans Hornets jerseys now. Next will be Michael Kidd-Gilchrist at #2. Again, Done Deal. The question, however, is which team will take him? Can the Cavs move up? Do they want to?

Draft day deals, to my memory, are not as prevalent in the NBA as they are in the NFL. Of course, the NFL Draft marathon of 7 rounds over a 4 day period leads many teams to jockey for position and concern themselves with "value picks" and "diamonds in the rough."  In the NBA, however, there is less pomp and circumstance, and only 2 rounds. You just don't see a lot of movement like you do in the NFL.  But it could happen.

With the #2 pick, Charlotte, much like Washington in the NFL, is ripe for trade offers.  They need a ton of players and  you could argue that the Cavaliers (again, like the Browns in the NFL) have the most to offer for that #2.

We could give up the #4, #33, and #34 and I wouldn't bat an eye.  To get MKG? Are you kidding?  They can also package in players.  If they look to someone like Fab Melo or Jared Sullinger in the 2nd round, they could through Anderson Varegao (sniff whimper sniff) into the mix.  It's possible to get a deal done.  It could happen.

So as fans, the parallels are truly staggering to me.  It's like deja vu all over again and I can say from experience I'm pretty happy with how the Browns ended up once the NFL draft was over.  Let's hope we are all as happy with the Cavaliers once the NBA draft is completed.  As Cleveland Sports Fans, the hope and excitement for next year would be amazing if we had TWO teams in this town with players that they whole world would be watching. What's not to like?

Respectfully Submitted,

Cleveland Kate

2012 Cleveland Cavaliers - WrapUp

After six years of enjoying playoff basketball here in Cleveland with the Cavaliers, the past couple seasons have been, to say the least, rough. However. I do think some positive things came out of this season and Cavs fans should be very optimistic that we are close to not only making the playoffs, but being a dominant force in the league again. At least that's the way I feel about the Cavs - maybe after reading my reasons, you'll understand and be hopeful too!

2010-11 was an incredibly painful year of basketball for this city. After all the fun and success the Cavs had, life without whats-his-name proved to be even worse than we anticipated. 19-63. Wow. Whoda thunk it? And 26 games in a row? Yikes! Everyone I talked to was complaining and moaning about how bad the Cavs were and even the hope of at op lottery pick didn't lift their spirits. We took each loss personally and blamed he-who-shall-not-be-named for our pain.

Which brings us to the 2011 NBA Draft - the beginning of a new era in Basketball for Cleveland. We staked our future on Kyrie Irving, Tristan Thompson, and 2nd year Head Coach Byron Scott. And even though we finished the strike-shortened season a lowly 21-45, I think we're on the right path!

I learned 3 things this season that leave me feeling positive about the future. First, Byron Scott is rocking the job of Head Coach. He's got a talent for developing young players, specifically Point Guards, and that is evident in the way Kyrie Irving matured during the season. While even I complained about the limits he put on playing time for some of the guys, I'm willing to wait for the payoff. He commands the respect of his players and it is clear that he is the leader in the "huddle" during time-outs, etc. It's nice to see a coach that is in charge for a change. (No offense, Mike Brown.)

Second, I learned that Kyrie Irving is the Real Deal. This kid is special and everyone who watched him play last year could see it. He was NBA Rookie of the Month not once, not twice, (ha) but FOUR TIMES! He's the front-runner for Rookie of the Year. And, most importantly, he's a TEAM player. He has shown so much growth and a maturity on the court that I wasn't expecting. He's made a believer out of me - and many other Cavs fans.

Now, Tristan Thompson. Hm. That's a different situation. I knew he was a "project" when they drafted him. Byron Scott had his work cut out for him, getting TT up-to-snuff for the NBA game. Being the Big Bad Defender on the Block is great in college, but in the Big Leagues, you have to have an offensive presence as well. Even if it's at the foul line, you have to contribute to the scoring - and 55% ain't gonna cut it. Yes, he was improving in March and April and finished the year over 60% from the line, but we need more from him. I think the Cavs underestimated the amount of time it would take for his development. I think he'll be fine, but I also think it's going to be a couple more years before we are excited to have him on the team.

Finally, I learned that Anderson Varejao is going to be VERY HARD TO REPLACE. The popular opinion in town has always been that we need to trade Andy while his value is high. Well, regardless of his wrist injury, the one stat that grabs my attention is the fact that the Cavs closed out the season a dismal 11-30 without Andy on the court. It's obviously not his scoring ability that they missed - it was his energy. No one else stepped up and motivated these guys when he was out. I understand trade value, but frankly you can't replace everything else he brings to the party and (girlie crush aside) I would hate to see him go. Hopefully I'll never have to find out - at least not for a few more year. :)

So. Final stat of the year.... 21-45. I can theorize that in a full season, they were on pace to be 27-55. While that is still really bad, it's an improvement over last year (I know, little consolation there). And yet I never really looked at the wins/losses or worried about them this year. And most people I talked to had no clue what their record was. We were just talking about "Did you see Kyrie last night" and "man, what a great 4th quarter comeback." We understood the rebuilding process and bought into it - hook, line, and jump shot. And that's good enough for me!

Respectfully Submitted,

Cleveland Kate

Just the facts, ma'am: Cleveland Browns 2012 NFL Draft

Twitter Accounts for some of the Draftees

@bweeden3
@M_Schwartz72
@Bigjh40
@Billy_Boi_90
@thEMANacho
@TravisBenjamin3
@TwoStarWade

The 2012 NFL Draft is over, done, in the books.  Sigh.  Now after months of discussing who the Cleveland Browns should / would take, we are left to try our hands as talent evaluators and judge what they did.  I love a good debate as much as the next girl, but frankly, none of my questions are going to be answered until the team hits the field in August.

I'm sure you watched Round 1, but I'm also sure most of you passed on rounds 2-7. I will admit I slept for most of this afternoon, so researching their late round choices was something I needed to do anyway.  Below is just an overview of each player selected, some basic bio information and some college stats.  I shall endeavor to refrain from adding my personal thoughts (for now) on whether or not I liked the pick. I'm just putting them all in here to make it easier for people who want to see the list in one easy place.

Oh, and at the end I also added a few guys who didn't get drafted by the Browns.... some guys that either have local connections or that I just liked as college players and wondered where they landed.  Enjoy.

Round 1 Pick #3 (Trade UP with Minnesota Vikings)
RB Trent Richardson, Alabama
5'11" 224 lbs Birthday: July 10, 1991
Rushing stats:
2009 - 751 yards 8 TD rush 0 TD receiving
2010 - 700 yards 6 TD rush 3 TD receiving
2011 - 1679 yards 21 TD rush 4 TD receiving

Round 1 Pick #22 (Acquired in trade with Atlanta in 2011)
QB Brandon Weeden, Oklahoma State
6'4" 220 lbs Birthday: October 14, 1983
2009 - 15/24 for 248 yd 4 TD 1 INT - QB Rate 196
2010 - 342/511 for 4277 yd 34 TD 13 INT - QB Rate 154
2011 - 408/564 for 4727 yd 37 TD 13 INT - QB Rate 159

Round 2 Pick #37
OT Mitchell Schwartz, California
6'6" 318 lbs Birthday: June 8, 1989

Started all 51 games possible during his Cal career from 2008-11 to fall one start short of Syd'Quan Thompson's school record of 52, making the starts at either left tackle (35) or right tackle (16) ... earned first-team All-Pac-12 and Pac-12 All-Academic in his senior season ...

Round 3 Pick #87
DT John Hughes, Cincinnati 6'2" 309 lbs Birthday: April 27, 1988

Closed out the season with 51 tackles, 12.5 tackles for a loss, five sacks, a pair of quarterback hurries and a blocked kick ... played some of his best football during UC's championship and Liberty Bowl run, tallying 27 tackles and four sacks over the last five games of the season ...

Round 4 Pick #100
WR Travis Benjamin, Miami(FL)
5'10" 170 lbs Birthday: Shhhh It's a secret!
2008 - 293 yrds 3 TD
2009 - 501 yrds 4 TD
2010 - 743 yrds 3 TD
2011 - 609 yrds 3 TD Led team in Kick Return Yardage at 496 yrds

Round 4 Pick #120
LB James-Michael Johnson, Nevada
6'2" 240 lbs Birthday: August 20, 1989

2011: Honors candidate who should contend for Defensive Player of the Year honors in the Western Athletic Conference ... Has been named to the watch lists for the Bronko Nagurski Award (nation's top defensive player) and the Butkus Award (nation's top linebacker) ... Has been named preseason All-WAC by a number of publications.

Round 5 Pick #160
OG Ryan Miller, Colorado
6'8" 295 lbs Birthday: July 6, 1989

He set the school record for the most career games started with 47 (48 including the 2007 Independence Bowl), breaking the old marks of 45 overall (ILB Jordon Dizon) and 44 by an offensive player (held by two players); he started the last 37 games of his career. He became just the ninth player out of almost 2,000 lettermen to earn five letters in a CU uniform, as he missed the last eight games of the 2008 season with a broken fibula, but still played in four contests and more than enough plays to letter

Round 6 Pick #204
LB Emmanuel Chinedum Acho, Texas 6'2" 245 lbs Birthday: November 10, 1990

Ended his career having played in 48 games, including 26 starts ... graduated in December, 2011 with a degree in sports management ... posted 278 tackles (159 solo), 41 TFL, eight sacks, seven forced fumbles, three fumble recoveries, two INTs, 13 PBU and 26 pressures for his career ...

Round 6 Pick #205
DE Billy Winn, Boise State
6'4" 294 lbs Birthday: unknown

WINN'S CAREER STATISTICS
YEAR SOLO ASST TOTAL SACKS TFL PBU
2008---16---11----27---2.5--6.5---2
2009---18---26----44---6.0-12.5---3
2010---11---17----28---4.0--9.5---1
2011---18---15----33---3.0--8.0---1
TOTAL--63---69---132--15.5-36.5---7

Round 7 Pick #245
CB Trevin Wade, Arizona
5'11" 192 lbs Birthday: August 1, 1989

Round 7 Pick #247
TE/FB Brad Smelley, Alabama
6'3" 229 lbs Birthday: unknown

And in other news.....
CB Chase Minnefield, Virginia, @ChaseMinnefield Son of Cleveland Brown Great Frank Minnefield, went undrafted but was signed afterwards by the Washington Redskins. Sigh

OT Mike Adams, THE Ohio State University - drafted by Pittsburgh Steelers Round 2, Pick #56. Another Sigh.

WR DeVier Posey, THE Ohio State University - drafted by Houston Texans Round 3, Pick #68.

RB Daniel "Boom" Herron, THE Ohio State University - drafted by Cincinnati Bengals Round 6, Pick #191.

WR Lavon Brazill, Ohio U - drafted by Indianapolis Colts Round 6, Pick #206.

WR Jordan White, Western Michigan @_JordanWhite - drafted by New York Jets Round 7, Pick #244

(He's from North Ridgeville, OH, and since I watched him play in High School, he gets to close out my list of "other guys.")


Respectfully Submitted,

Cleveland Kate

An Open Letter to Colt McCoy

Dear Colt,

As I'm writing this today, I don't know what the future will bring for you. It's nearly impossible to tell what is in the mind of the Cleveland Browns front office personnel, so I don't know if you'll be given a shot to be our QB next year or if you will be traded to another team. I just wanted to let you know how impressed I am with the Class you've displayed during a difficult situation.

The Browns have had one of the worst offenses in the NFL over the past couple years. At time, it was difficult - even painful - to watch as a fan. I can only imagine how it was for those players actually on the field. The changes in schemes, head coach, strike-shortened off-season, etc., led up to a miserable 2011 season for all of us. There was a ton of talk about bringing RG3 to Cleveland, of a trade gone bad where we "lost" him to Washington, of concern over our QB situation. And yet you remained silent. You allowed matters that were out of your control to stay that way, to refuse comment, to "lay low." And really, there was nothing good you could say during that time to make things better. When Shurmur announce that you were our QB "for now," I was worried about your morale, but figured that you would just use it as motivation to get better this off-season.

I've always believed in your abilities. I remember the New Orleans and New England games of 2010, the pride I felt when we beat teams we shouldn't have been able to beat. The pride of being a Browns Fan. While I understand the people who don't have faith in you, I always felt it was difficult to truly evaluate your NFL skills without some weapons, some play-makers. The Hillis illness, injury, and over-all mismanagement by Shurmur, didn't help at all. For me, the jury is still out on whether or not you can lead my Browns to the playoffs.

Through it all, I kept my hope alive. I kept thinking that somehow, some way, the team would use Free Agency and the Draft to improve and that I would be able to enjoy football again. Well, as you know, free agency didn't bring the blockbuster deal I was hoping for. The draft started off to be very promising with the Browns going after Trent Richardson and telling the fans - as well as the rest of the league - that we were willing to go after a player who would make a difference for the next 5-8 years. The Browns would once again have a running game that would force our division rivals to take notice and set their defenses on their ears. TRich immediately makes our offense better, makes you a better and more effective quarterback. Hooray!

But none of that seems to matter now. With the pick of Brandon Weeden at #22, the Browns have clearly stated that they don't believe in you. I hoped that you would get the chance to compete with him in the off-season for the starting job, but I just don't have a good feeling that will happen.

So, whether you are traded or not, I hope that you light it up on the field this year. I hope you get the chance to really show what skills you possess on the field. And I want to thank you for the class you've shown during this past year. You've been a role model for other players. Sometimes, it's better to say nothing at all than to say things that will get you in trouble, both with the team and the fans. I wish you nothing but success in the future and hope that this doesn't prove to be yet another decision the Browns end up regretting.

Respectfully Submitted, Cleveland Kate